As the first entry in my interview series, I jumped on the phone with my second favorite kickball captain and favorite Type A friend, the one who welcomed me onto one kickball team, then dragged me to another. This is our conversation! Transcribed as faithfully as I can recall.
Mason Emily, hi! How are you?
Emily Mason. Hi. Why are you making me do this?
Mason You volunteered. Have you changed your mind? We can cut this short if you want.
Emily No no no it’s fine. Please proceed.
Mason That’s more like it. Anyway, how are you? How are things in the District?
Emily They’re good! Work is good, love is good, apartment is on fire.
Mason I’m sorry what?
Emily Oh my apartment caught fire. A laptop exploded and our apartment caught fire.
Mason Really?
Emily Yes. We had to take tons of pictures for insurance. And we can’t go back for like a week. Not ideal.
Mason Not ideal indeed. I’m sorry to hear it! You didn’t lose the elephant souvenirs I got you over the years did you?
Emily Oh no, of course not, those were some of the few treasured items I had stored in my fireproof safe.
Mason Oh thank God. They’re irreplaceable. In that I forget exactly what they are or where I got them from, so they are literally unable to be replaced.
Emily …
Mason Let’s move on. How is work?
Emily Oh it’s fine but dull. Let me tell you about Afghanistan though, I was on a trip there a few months back and broke my leg falling through a manhole cover, and–
Mason Woah woah woah, enough about manholes, this is a family blog. Let’s focus on your treasured memories of me. What would you say is your favorite time I fake-strangled you for a photo?
Emily Oh definitely at Nat’s Night Out in 2017.
Mason Agreed. Favorite color?
Emily Bright Pink.
Mason Favorite State?
Emily Indiana.
Mason Favorite ice cream?
Emily I like my ice cream like I like my men, tall, vanilla, and lanky.
Mason Terrific. Well that’s all the time we have, thanks for agreeing to be my guinea pig on this segment of the newsletter! Tell the Mounties hi.
Emily The who?
Mason Our kickball team.
Emily What’s kickball?
Mason You know, that kid sport that adults play?
Emily Never heard of it.
Mason Me either. I think it’s like football.
Emily What’s football?
Mason Thanks for your time!
The MH Experience 